Joan's symptoms have followed the classic course since she was diagnosed about five years ago.  

 That bright, vivacious, fun-loving woman who got her commerce degree as an adult and held a senior government position has become a quiet, passive person who has dropped the word "no" from her vocabulary and depends on me for everything.

Her range of interests has drastically declined.  She no longer reads anything, never volunteers anything in conversation and is content to sit in a particular chair all day, endlessly painting and re-painting her nails.

She took the drug Reminyl for about three years. But it was discontinued a few months ago when she was re-tested and scored below the level where it's believed to be effective.

I have no idea if it benefitted her. Hopefully, it did slow the progress of the disease.  But how would you know?

Joan participates twice a week in an AZ activities program offered by ElderCare Edmonton at a seniors centre in west Edmonton.

Such programs are often referred to as "respite care", providing a break for  caregivers.   I don't regard it as such.

I sought it out in hope that she could learn a new craft or something instead of sitting at home doing nothing. 

But I soon realized that wasn't going to happen.  She basically can't learn anything new because she can't remember the instructions.

She strongly resisted getting involved,  claiming it was a first step at 'putting her away'. But she really seems to like it.

They do a variety of things and often have volunteer entertainers. About 15 people usually attend and there are always at least two staff persons.  It costs me $15 a day.

And, I admit,  it is nice to have about five hours to myself to shop or work on my garden on my brother's farm outside the city.

We still do things together. 

Joan always goes with me when I lawn bowl. She goes for short walks around the greens or just sits and watches.

Last weekend, we had a great hike with her sister and husband from New Brunswick up to the Plain of Six Glaciers behind Lake Louise.

This weekend, we'll join the Stettler naturalists' club on their annual butterfly species count at Dry Island Buffalo Jump Provincial Park. 

And we plan to take in all four days of the Edmonton Folk Music Festival (where, by the way, all those 65 and over get in free). 

I do all our meal planning, cooking, grocery shopping, housework, yard care  and help Joan choose what to wear and get dressed.

She has a loyal group of friends who include her in their monthly parties. Two of them frequently take her out to lunch.  They all pitched in to clean house for us before Joan's sister arrived from New Brunswick.

But I know the very sad day is coming -- probably in less than two years -- when I'll be unable to dress her, feed her, toilet her etc on my own and will have to place her in an AZ home.

 It's the shits.

If anyone in the same boat reads this -- feel free to contact me. Maybe I can help you. Maybe you can help me.  Maybe we'll just cry a bit about the unfairness of it.  But somehow we'll cope.