Boy, has this been a rough couple of weeks. My mom's been in a highly agitated state and has become verbally and physically abusive. I know she is bored and tired of just sitting around the house, and she says she is sick of living, but she is completely unable to do what she used to do. For goodness sake, she is 91 years old, and shouldn't be cutting grass. We went to the dentist the other day and she didn't remember him. He's been her dentist for 45 years. I wanted to sit on the floor and cry. Think maybe I'm just having a pity party for one. Gotta buck up and do what I gotta do, right?
I HATE THIS DISEASE!
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Hi Kathryn, I hear you loud and clear. I know exactly what you speak of. If I ask my mother to promise me that she won't shovel snow and to wait for either my husband or I to come after work, no sooner do we hang up the phone does she turn around and go out there and shovel. Even in a blizzard. It's almost her way of saying I can still do it. She has had a heart attack and stroke, poor vision and loss of balance. I, too, have siblings (that live only 20 minutes away) that appear not to be affected or even think to ask if she needs help. Because I'm always there, mom becomes nastier to me and she is so impatient. If I'm late by 10 minutes, she's nasty. SO... I've had to learn to back off. It's really difficult but it does help to talk it out with others in the same boat. I now keep a routine. I still go by the house one day during the week. I take her shopping and out for coffee on the weekend and if I'm having my son and his girlfriend over for Sunday dinner, they pick her up and she comes too. I think she's actually become better. I think she hates that she is losing her independence and feels resentful to me for "being there" even though there is little alternative. She's pretty much stuck with me!!! Make sure you take care of yourself Kathryn. I'd love to chat more. Feel free to contact me. I'm sure you're doing an amazing job!!!!
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