Unfortunately, my Mother lost her battle with Alzheimers almost two years ago (my goodness...it doesn't seem like it's been that long).

I am 30 years old.  My Mother was 62 years old when she passed away.  She was diagnosed with Alzheimers in 1998, although it was most likely present prior to that for quite some time.  I was just getting ready to head off to College and my Mom and Dad sat me down to tell me the news.  They had tried to wait to get all four of my sisters together, but it was too difficult with them living further away, so they had to tell us alone...one by one.

I remember being quite annoyed at first when they told me.  It bothers me to remember me feeling that way...but everything went through my mind so fast.  There was no way I could leave my Dad alone to look after my Mom now...I couldn't go away to College.  I didn't know anything about Alzheimers.  I didn't know if people could die from it, I didn't know how long until I might notice a change in my Mom.  I knew nothing, but just knew that I wouldn't feel right leaving since all my sisters were far away...so I decided to stay at my local College. 

For a year or so...I didn't even acknowledge what I was told.  I thought about it...but made to attempt to look into issues that my family was going to face.  Then, I guess one day it hit me and I realized that I better get a "handle" on what was about to happen to us, or I would regret it.  I attended Support Group Meetings, Information Sessions...I read books...I did everything I could.  Parts of me now think maybe I "overloaded" myself with good and bad information.  At Support Group Meetings, I found myself getting defensive for no reason at what other people were talking about because what they were mentioning was not happening with my Mom...but unfortunately, sooner than later I began to be able to relate to what they were saying about their loved ones.

I visited my Mom every minute I possibly could.  My family had to make the decision to place her in a Retirement Home when it became too much for my Dad and I to take on at home.  I didn't live at home, but would go there everyday.  My Dad needed a break.  We never wanted to leave her alone.  If he needed to be somewhere, I would rearrange my day to be there for him.  If I needed to be somewhere, he made sure he was available.  It became too much...even when we had help come in to assist us with bathing, etc. for my Mom.  She went through so many stages and we just couldn't keep up.

Once in the Retirement Home, my family still struggled to leave my Mom alone.  My Dad would usually go for the mornings with her, then leave her for an hour at lunch and either return for the afternoon...or I would go for the afternoon until supper.   After supper, one of us (if not both) would go back and sit with her until they put her to bed, so we made sure someone was there to always say goodnight to her.  I remember working shiftwork and actually going to the Retirement Home in the morning after my shift to sleep in her bed while she sat in her chair and watched TV.  At that stage, she didn't speak, but she knew we were there...and there was no way I could let her down by not showing one day and leaving her there alone.

Soon, it became apparent that my Mom was becoming less and less aware that we were there. We started to leave more in the mornings/afternoons...but definitely always made sure someone was still there to say goodnight to her each and everynight.  Out of the 2 years that my Mom was at the Retirement Home before she passed way, I would say that I probably missed seeing her a total of 8 days (and 7 of those were when my friends forced me to take a 7 day vacation).

In the end, my Mom was having trouble eating.  She had completely forgotten how to swallow food and would sit there for hours with it in her mouth.  Over the course of 5 weeks, she only ate a total of 3 small freezies.  That is all the nurses and my family could get her to eat.  We knew we were nearing the end of this horrible journey, but nothing could have ever prepared us for the morning we lost her.  My three sisters, my Dad and myself were all there with her.  It was very peaceful...but something I never want to go through again and wouldn't wish on anyone.

I have so many questions...so many things in life that I never got to experience with her.  She will never see me get married or have children.  I was her youngest daughter and was 28 years old when I lost her.  I will never forget her.  She was an amazing person....an amazing Mom.