Hi, My name is Irene. The picture I inserted was that of my beautiful parents, Mike and Lil taken less than a year from when my dad died of Alzheimers. Chris, Thank you for your film ForgetfulNotForgotten. It was like watching my own family. My father passed away last year. My father-in-law about 4 years ago. Both of Alzheimers. My mother and mother-in-law, like your mother, are brave, strong women. Partners that are Caregivers of Alzheimers patients are truly amazing. What they had to endure, we don't even know the half of it. My father was so much like yours - so full of life and always put on a very happy exerior especially when people were around. But he could be difficult when my mother was alone with him. Often times, I would get the call to come and help because dad was being unmanageable. Yet, he was always a calm, loving man but Alzheimers can be terribly frustrating to them as well.

My mother misses him tremendously. Being a caregiver was a big part of her life. My father lived at home with her until he was admitted to the hospital where he died less than a week later. My father-in-law was admitted to a home for the final stages of his disease. Both my mother and mother-in-law feel tremendous guilt. Yet they did everything - they are super women! My mother thinks that dad may have lived longer in "a home" while my mother-in-law feels her husband would have lived longer if she kept looking after him in their own home. They did so much for them yet both harbour this horrible guilt. Still to this day. It is something I wish would go away but they just long for their husbands the way they were when they were healthy.

You reminded me of myself in the film when you were trying to get him to take his shirt off or find his golf ball. There were times I wished he could just snap out of it. My dad didn't golf but one day, I took him to the golf course as I enjoy the game and I wanted to give my mom a break. He drove the electric cart and I did the tee shots and fairway shots. When I got the ball to the green, he would putt. We played 9 holes like that (he was the putter) on a beautiful fall day and for that 2 hours, he was "in the moment". He would rejoice when he sank the ball and he would say "darn it" (or something a little stronger) when he would miss - just like a seasoned golfer! We enjoyed ourselves so much that day. He drove the cart really well too - i think he felt good about himself for doing it too!! It was my last really fun memory with just him and me. I wished I would have filmed it! The moment we got back into the car to go home, he was back to very laboured conversation that was difficult for me to follow. He wanted to communicate. He just couldn't find the words. I wanted to turn around and go back to the golf course for another 9 holes but he wouldn't have had the strength.

It was good of you to share your story. Your mother needs to know that she is an amazing woman as are other caregivers. I do think the caregivers feel so lost after they're partners are gone. A good part of the latter years of their lives with their partners was trying to accommodate every need they had. So, their absence leaves a tremendous void.

By the way, my mom watched your show too. We talked on the phone after and had a good cry. It brought back a lot of memories. It also made mom feel like she wasn't alone. My parents didn't like to talk about Dad having Alzheimers. I would notice that fewer people came to the house. For such social people, they only had immediate family come by. So, the more the message comes out and the more films like yours that are made, I think care givers will realize that its okay to talk openly and freely about the disease when family members are affected. My mother-in-law never hid the disease and I think it kept her more healthy. I think my mother's protection of my father may have made it a lot more difficult on her at the time and, even now.

Again, thanks. It was such an honest, open film that is bound to help others.

-Irene